Dear Blog; Day 57

Start of week 9. Good way to start a monday with an emotional meltdown. Nice, just nice. My life coach and I had a pow-wow this morning. I was doing fine until we started talking about my blood pressure and my medicine. I haven't been taking regularly: one because I forget, two because I am lazy and three because I haven't felt like I needed it. Well, news flash..... ANGELA was WRONG! My numbers are still high and so I need to make sure that i am taking my medicine everyday even if I don't feel like I need it. And now I must check my pressure everyday, my life coach is concerned about the numbers. I don't know why this sent me in to a depressed sullen state complete with water works but it did. It could be that I didn't want to hear what I thought were really negative things that kept coming out of her mouth, (even though what she was saying wasn't that negative)or I didn't think it would still be so high after all the work I have been doing. I thought maybe after 8 weeks it would miraculously be right in line with someone who is in tip-top shape. Ummm reality check Angela. You are not someone in tip-top shape, far from it actually. But you are working to be in better health and shape. Reminder: This is a life long process that will take TIME to change.

I am on the road to recovery, I get that. But sometimes my road has a bit to many pitfalls and curves for my liking. But as long as I keep going and keep picking myself up the motion I am making will always be forward. It is only when I stand still or turn and face the past that I run into problems. That being said, I have a new renewal on this life change journey. I have decided to stay more focused instead of letting myself have more freedom then I should. I have decided to be more conscious of what I am doing and how it is effecting me. I have also decided that I need to put my big girl panties on and my diva shoes and get to work! this is about perserverance, understanding, acceptance, and patience. Here I come new found drive...please just don't drive me off the road I have a mission to complete and I will not be derailed!

Love Angela