Dear Blog; Day 83

Vacation day 3.  Hello 5 am on a saturday.   Seattle temple is 3 hours from my parents house and my sister and her husband had to be there by 10 am  (they were going through for the first time and having their temple wedding today).  Sooooo early.  I can look back on it now and it is funny but at 6 am when you realize that you could have slept in an extra hour it wasn't so funny.  My dad had thought that we needed to be there at 9 so we had to leave at 6 when really we didn't have to be there until 10 so we didn't have to leave until 7.  Oh well it gave us enough time to make sure we had everything, and get some breakfast.  McDonalds breakfast sounds so much better then it really is when you are choosing NOT to eat it.  There I sat listening to breakfast sandwhiches with sausage and egg and oozy cheese being unwrapped and hungrily consumed.  The crunch of hashbrowns hot and steamy just out of the fryer and the slurp of  fresh squeezed orange juice.  Oh and don't forget the fruit and yogurt parfait...awwwwww.   mmmm this medifast bar is the best, so much better then all that greasy diarrhea inducing food! (too much, was that last comment a little too much?) It was more about the fact that they were eating something I wasn't, then the actual food itself.   Knowing that still didn't change the fact that I  was obsessing about each bite that was being taken by the 4 family members sitting next to me. 

On the road again....breakfast over.  Points for Angela for making it through meal stop #1.  With the sun peaking its little head up to say good morning and everyone's stomach filled we were off.  We were met in Seattle by my brother and some very very close family friends.  We were all there to share in this great and very special day for my sister and her husband.  Hard part is it didn't allow for me to get in my meals.  So there I was changing my clothes eating a medifast bar.  Hey a girl has to eat, and I MAKE TIME TO EAT!  There is no way I would have survived.  4 1/2 hours later all was said and done at the temple and we were off to dunch, or was it linner? (dinner/lunch)  Either way it was a buffet (ha ha I made a rhyme). 

A BUFFET.  Wait, a buffet?  I can't do a buffet.  1 I was too hungry and 2 really?  Do you need me to spell out What point #2 was?  ok, I will anyway....and 2 there are a bazillion things at a buffet that are NOT on the approved food list.  BAZILLION things!  I sat at the table and took a moment.  Breathing deep.  Who hyper-ventilates at a buffet? oh oh pick me pick me.  Ok not really but almost.  I had to say a little prayer and remind myself that I could make good choices and stay on program.  I am happy to report I made it.  But it took every ounce of my will power to do so.  There were so many triggers stacked against me. I will list them.  1 I was overly hungry (so the crazy monster was setting in).  2 it was a celebration dinner with friends and family. 3 everything was fried (nuff said). 4 it was a buffet (can we say gluttony).  Once I had something in my stomach, it was so much easier to focus and not feel like I was missing out on what everyone else was eating that I wasn't.  I felt the most successful at that moment then I have felt thus far on program. 

I didn't give in.  I didn't succumb to the buffet and I was still able to enjoy the moment and celebrate happiness with my family.  I have to say that I patted myself on the shoulder after that one.  The rest of the night went off splendidly and without incident. 

1 large layer of self hate removed today. 

Love angela