Day 7 of vacation... more then half way through this vacation I am on. Don't get me wrong I love being here it is just not food friendly all the time. My mom keeps checking with me to see if I am bored. Nope not bored just relaxing. I know when I get back to AZ it is going to be busy busy so I am getting in my down time now!
So I am so worried I am going to gain weight....(dont know how that is going to happen if I stick pretty close to program) but I am worried. Guess I just need something to worry about...I am so silly sometimes. Anyway I am worried about it so most of the day I am trying not to eat so I don't focus on food. I guess it has to do with control too. If I let myself eat then I will eat anything and everything instead of only what I SHOULD eat. I have got to find a balance. So I am eating a spoon of peanut butter (so not ok but it is better then the bag of potato chips sitting next to my mom's chair calling my name!)
I was feeling better today so I made a stop at my dear friends house. I always make sure that she and her family get their at least 1 hour with me. I love seeing them. We chit chatted and caught up on the goings on. I left with hugs and promises to get together the next time I am in town. I was really hungry by this time; it was way past dinner time. I was hoping that dinner would be ready when I got home just like when I come home in arizona...grandma almost always has dinner ready. Yep that didn't happen here. I was a bit worried. At a time like this when I was this hungry it can be very very dangerous. So I took a moment, and grabbed a medifast meal and started dinner prep. Normally I would have made something quick and most likely carb filled. Can't do that anymore, so I had to take the time to make something lean and green. Good thing it doesn't take very long to thaw and sautee tilapia and heat up some green beans. Another crisis averted, stomach monster was now happy and not clawing at my throat. See I can do this. Yes I can.
Each success that I have reminds me that I am strong and that I can do this. Some days seem really really tough but I always wake up and it is a new day.
One thin layer of self hate removed.
Love Angela
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