Its friday. My life coach comes home today. I need her to be back I have to talk to her about some things. I am feeling like I am slipping backwards. I just want to eat all day long. I don't entirely know why. So I am trying to keep busy.
I went to breakfast with an old friend who is in town visiting. I was so good. I had an egg white omelet with grilled onions and peppers a little bit of cheese and some ham. No hashbrowns no bread nothing. And honestly it was a perfect amount of food. They could have used a bit less grease but all in all it was a great choice. After saying goodbye I was on to my next project.
My best friend is moving and so she had the movers over at the house today and she really needed someone there to help her out so I headed over. She needed to take a step back for a moment so I took over! Sometimes her and I share the same brain so I was able to step in and oversee things while she took a little break. It is hard and a lot overwhelming being in charge of such big things! She had been going non stop for the last several weeks and eventually it catches up to you. Especially when you are trusting your things to be taken care of and moved by other people. And them being slower at doing it then you think they should be and knowing you are paying them by the hour! All you see is the cha ching of the all mighty dollar keep adding up! Not a fun or zen type of feeling. Alll stress AAAALLLLLL Stress. Need a vaca from that type of experience for sure.
By time I got home from that I was ready for dinner. Gram had it ready and it was good and I did eat. The rest of the evening was spent scanning childhood photos that I had brought back from my parents house and talking with my gamer friend while watching some mindless tv show.
About 11 I was hungry again. Or at least thought I was. So what did I do. I went down and had another piece of chicken. Why you ask? Becuase I knew it was there and I knew it was good. I couldn't get past it to think about other things. I think that is why they call it an obsession. I really need to get over this food obsession thing it is definitely putting a damper on my life. Did I feel better after I ate the chicken, yes. But did I beat myself up for eating it, yes to that too.
I want to be able to eat dinner and not think about it again. I want it to be a habit that I eat my last meal of the night and don't think about food consciously or subconsciously until I fall asleep and then wake up and start thinking about it again. How do you do that? Stop thinking about something all the time? I want to be free of this feeling. I guess I need to revert back to my previous movie quote chant from finding nemo........
"food is food, not my friend! (fish are friends not food).
Love Angela
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