Dear Blog; Day 172

Teaching day take 2 (since this is the 2nd time I have taught so far).  How did it go you may be asking.... well it went ok.  Let me focus on what I need to work on first then we will go from there.  I need to work on timing, sub-objectives boosting main objective and well that is enough.  Timing is a stinker.  The lesson I wanted to present wasn't the lesson that WAS presented.  And so it took longer then I had intended for it to.  Nuff said on that, and the sub-objectives well they are suppose to compliment the main objective and well they didn't....nuff said on that as well.  I am learning a lot about my though.  I have to keep reminding myself that this go around with school is not going to be the same or end up the same as my first round of student teaching did 10 years ago.  I am a different person and this is a different situation.  I am glad that we have debriefings so that you can go over the lesson and how it went with someone who can see your strengths and your weaknesses and give you advice and direction as to what to do to strengthen your weak areas.  That to me is the best help anyone could give me.

I was disappointed because it didn't go how I wanted it to, but I can say there were a lot of positive moments and that is the important part.  I can also look back and see how I can do it differently next time to make it what it should have been the first time.  That is the reason for going to school and for having these opportunities to teach.

Unfortunately for me as the schooling part is coming together the food part is falling a part just a little.  I am finding that I am getting things and hiding them in my closet to snack on when no one is looking.  That is an old habit that needs to be gone.   Now before you freak out on me... what I mean by hiding things in my closet I am talking peanuts and peanut butter not chips or candy or anything like that.  It is ok choices which is definitely a good step but at the same time, why am I hiding food again?  It isn't as if I don't have a pantry full of medifast food or that I didn't just eat dinner that was yummy.  I am eating because I am worried, and stressed and anxious.  I am using food to cope again.  I need to figure this out and come to an agreement with food.  You stay down stairs and in the pantry and fridge and I will only come get you and have you every 3 hours like I am suppose to.  Hopefully I can stick to my end of the bargain.

I could really use some prayers and positive thoughts right about now!

Love Angela