So I get myself up this morning and get ready for church. I say to myself I am going to try and look cute today since I am singing in the choir. So I pulled out a black dress (I bought for my sisters wedding 2 years ago) which hasn't ever seen the light of day in arizona and decided that I was just going to have to wear it to church today. What I really wanted to do was wear my red heels and we all know that a little black dress goes great with red heels! I have to admit I looked pretty smashing and....the dress was a bit to big. Not so big that it looked like it was hanging on me but big enough that there was excess fabric. My aunt dolled me up with some red jewelry and away I went.
I have to admit I was a bit self conscious at church. I never wear dresses, mostly separates (skirt and shirt). I just feel more comfortable that way. But today I had to own the dress! As I was leaving to find my seat someone from the choir stopped me and said that she didn't want to be rude and hoped that she wasn't going to offend me (I was thinking she was going to comment that I was tone deaf or something) but instead she proceeded to ask me if I had lost a bunch of weight? I said yes 85 lbs and she said I thought so. She said that she had been seeing me each week and had noticed that I was shrinking and that I was looking great. Now I know this person vaguely and I haven't ever really had a full conversation with her so it wasn't like she was saying it to be nice etc. so I have to accept it for what it was a genuine honest to goodness compliment! I have to admit that it made my day. Even though when I look in the mirror I see all that I have left to do, people who are seeing the real me and not my warped reflection are seeing all the hard work that I am doing and that really makes this all worth it.
A thin layer of self hate removed a thin layer of self love put in it's place.
Love Angela
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