My life coach and I, we had a little heart to heart tonight. We have both been having our struggles over the last couple of months; food, stress, life, etc and so we sat down to catch up. It is interesting because we both know each other so well that we know when the other is having problems. This is a good thing and a bad thing, because you think you are being sneaky but really that other person knows whats going on! I get tired of sneaking or hiding things it is so draining sometimes. I almost feel like I want to be caught so that I don't have to hide anymore.
I appreciate the time my life coach spends with me; as much as I struggle to express my weaknesses I feel much better when I can talk to someone about them. Not just someone, specifically my life coach. There is a safety that I feel with her that I don't feel with others. She has known me my whole life and there is a connection that cannot be put into words. I feel my most vulnerable around her.
This journey is all about understanding me. It never has really been about the food it has been about me. How do I handle things, how do I not handle things. What do I turn to when I am scared, sad, happy, angry, frustrated, stressed etc? Why do I turn to those things? Why is it so hard for me to accept feeling emotion? More then just accepting emotion, what is it about feeling that I don't want to accept?
How do allow others in to understand me if I don't understand me? This journey has truly been a very humbling experience.
Love, Angela
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