Dear Blog; Day 22

Sorry for the lateness of the post my dad and I went to visit some family in Yuma, AZ overnight.  I was really nervous about going.  I went with my dad and just my dad, no life coach, no one to really help me along and keep me in check.  I was on a road trip so naturally I needed goldfish, chips, beef jerky, a soda, oh and swedish fish.  UMMMmmMMMMMmmmm not this time!  Sad.... instead I packed medifast bars, medifast crackers, water, medifast oatmeal, medifast soups and sugar free pour-ins for the water.  Oh ya have things changed....road trip does not have the same meaning as it did before.  Now, it means more talking, more music, more jokes, passing fast food places, just using the restroom and getting gas at gas stations, and no swedish fish or anything close to them!  My dad made a point to let me know that he was proud of me for what I am doing, and that he knows how hard it is for me.  I really appreciate that support it means a lot and I know I will remember that conversation as I go along in this journey.

We made the 3 hour trip with  no incidents.  We spent some time visiting  and then it was dinner time.  I was a bit worried, my aunt is a cooker.  She shares her love by feeding people and taking care of them.  They were very supportive of me, they kept checking with me as to what i choose to have and what I choose not to have.  It was a great dinner, veggies and tilapia and more veggies, she also made rice and garlic bread. I would be lying if I said I didn't sniff the bread as I passed it by, but I didn't obsess over it.  It was ok that I didn't have any, I was content with what I had to eat.  We then sat around the fire and I didn't even feel the need for marshmellows to roast.  (don't like them anyway, but fire equals roasting something; so I roast...and roast...and roast.  That was the past though).

This was my first over night trip thus far on medifast and I came through it with flying colors!  I was so proud of  myself and I did it all by myself.  No one was watching me, no one would have told me no if I had something I am choosing not to eat.  The biggest thing is, I would have known and honestly that is the only person i need to be accountable to and honest with.  I have to live with me forever and I want to live with the BEST me. 

A tiny thin layer of self hate removed.  One layer at a time, one day at a time.

Love Angela