Dear Blog; Day 30

Ok, since yesterdays "disclaimer" I now know why I have had the munchies.  Mystery is solved....let us move on.  
Since all of us at the house are currently partaking in the medifast weight loss program we each order food and keep it in the pantry.  It is the communal food location.  Every couple of weeks (because of when each of us started) the orders arrive.  (Each person only orders once a month)  But we had gotten a bit low in our supply and we were waiting for an order to arrive.  I have said before that I always try and have a bar or something in my purse so if I am out I have something to eat so the "crazies" don't take hold.  Well bars were gone, as were pretzels and crackers.  I was left with ready made shakes which really need to be pretty cold for them to be their tastiest.  My life coach, gram, cousin, dad and myself all went out for an adventure. Shakes were not enough to hold me.  Things got a little dicey.  We stopped at a fast food place so that my dad could get something (he has been such a trooper with us diet people).  Ohhhhh man I went crazy.  My stomach monster nearly clawed its way up my throat and stole that stinkin juicy cheesy burger out of his hand before he would have even known what happened.  It smelled soooo good.  My life coach tried to calm me down.  As I kept swallowing to keep the monster down I found that I had to breathe through my mouth because I could smell all the amazing goodness that was packed between 2 fluffy white seasame seeded buns.  My life coach tried to tell me that I already knew what it tasted like and by smelling it I would remember what it tasted like and it would fill the void of not being able to eat it.  I told her that was the biggest bowl of crap I have ever heard.  I also told her that at that point I would pretty much eat anything that was dead that would fit between two pieces of bun.  Ok not my finest moment. I blame it on the food crazies.  I am so very glad that she doesn't take it personal.  I LOVE her for that!  

I made it through.  My life coach in her sneaky way got us into playing a 20 questions guessing game and for the rest of the ride home I had something else to focus on and I actually forgot about the food that had been consumed that I was deprived of.  When I got home I had a bar (our order had come in) and some crackers and all was again right with the world.  Angela how many times do you have to learn the "always have something with you or the "crazies" set in" lesson before you learn?  Technically this wasn't my fault because we were out of things.  But I kept thinking to myself, I am not going to throw away a month worth of stinking HARD work just for a 1$ cheeseburger.  If I were going to fall off the wagon it would be at a buffet and I would eat my weight in food.  Reality is, I know that I wouldn't feel good afterward.  It would just be instant gratification and about an hour later what would have to show for it?  Nothing, the food would be mostly digested and I would probably be sick from eating things I am not used to.  Not only that, I would have to start over to get all those non medifast approved foods out of my system and get back to the fat burning stage.  Tooooooo much work, not going to happen.  So here I sit writing, no cheeseburger, no buffet; but I do have a full stomach, a good attitude, and faith in myself that I can do this. 

Score for today:  Angela:  7   Food:  1

Love Angela