Day 4 of being sick. Just so you know it does not feel good when you blow your nose and it puts so much pressure on your inner ear that you feel your head spinning and almost vomit! Soooo gross. World stop spinning I want off this ride for sure! Since I didn't go to bed until 4 am last night I slept in until about noonish. My gram was worried about me so she brought me up some oatmeal and some lemon and honey water. Ohhh I love my grammy....she takes care of me! I finally came down stairs about 2ish and spent the rest of the day laid out on the sofa...watching hallmark channel. LOVE me the hallmark channel. So many sappy predictable romance movies, 2 hours of fluff and so much less work then reading 2 hours of fluff! I have been in the I don't feel like eating mood today, but towards the end of the night I started to want food and I mean all kinds of food. I settled for a hard boiled egg, salad and salmon fillet. Not what I wanted but it still filled the food void in my stomach. Honestly it didn't really matter what I ate I couldn't taste any of it anyway. Do you know it is really weird to hear yourself breath with your ears are plugged... I sound sooooo loud like I have just run a marathon! (Umm in case you are wondering I don't RUN. I don't know if I even know how to run.)
So after dinner I headed upstairs, all the while hearing my loud breathing (so annoying) on my way to my bedroom. I am going to sleep TONIGHT I keep telling myself, sleep is my friend. After turning off the light and the computer I laid their thinking. I have never been about the numbers on the scale nor have I ever been about the numbers on the tape measure. I have always been about how do I feel and do my clothes fit different? So I came up with this idea that I am going to measure certain parts of my body with yarn and hang them on the wall behind my bedroom door. Every month I will remeasure those same parts with a new piece of yarn and hang that next to the previous months yarn. This way I can measure progress and see some changes. (hopefully). I have to admit something to you. I am scared to get on the scale. I am scared that despite all the hard work I have done, the numbers will not have changed. I am scared that if that is the case, what it will do to my resolve and my motivation. Although I think I have earned a 60 pound weight loss at this point, I KNOW that isn't a reality. But I am scared at what the scale will say. So as of right now, the scale and I are not friends. I don't even want to know where the scale is. I think at this point, the fact that I haven't had fries in over 5 weeks, nor have I had chips, popcorn, ice cream, fried chicken, tacos, pizza or pasta that I can safely say that I have lost at least 1 lb and I am going to be ok with that and look at that as a victory! Yeah for small victories.
Small things pressed together over time can produce jewels of infinite worth. I someday hope to be a jewel created by small successes pressed together over time with an unfathomable worth.
Love Angela
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