Ya that food wagon just dumped me off and ran over me today. I swear I am going to have to get a seatbelt on that wagon so that I can stay on. I had every intention of pulling it back together today and honest I tried hard, but at the end of the day I didn't make it.
My grocery shopping friend had a work party today. It was a BBQ. Mind you I stayed away from the chips and the cookies and the potato salad and the beans and the corn and the rice crispy treats and even the buns for the pulled pork sandwhiches. (Yeah me) but in the end I over indulged on the meat. I had some this afternoon (more then I should have) and then about 20 minutes ago I was so hungry that I had some more (more then I should have). I was hungry yes, did I need to eat that much, no. Did I eat that much, yes. Why? Because it was good, and I could and I wanted to. Now, I am sitting here blogging with a tummy ache and guilt. (I am not looking back, I am not looking back!)
What happened the last couple of days is not going to happen again. I dont' want this, I really don't. I want something better and more long term. Yes the food tasted good. Did it taste as good as I wanted it to, no way. Was it worth it, kind of. I think more so that it made me realize some things.
I have goals that are far bigger then mediocre BBQ that lasts like 5 minutes. Although I let the thought of that BBQ get the better of me for a moment (a long moment) but I have most definitely realized it is not what I want. It doesn't make me feel good, nor does it fill the void I am trying to fill or the stress I am trying to alleviate. I just sit here with an angry stomach monster and strong desire to need to use the bathroom (too much info I know but hey just bein honest).
I sign off tonight with this statement: I promise to wear my seatbelt at all times while on the food wagon. I further promise that I will not beat myself up for the rough week that I have just experienced; I will use this last week as a tool and a reminder that I have loftier goals then just mediocre BBQ.
Love Angela
Angela,
ReplyDeleteI am finally caught up on your blog and I have to tell you that you are an inspiration to me and you are helping me on my own journey. I am on day 66. I have kept myself too busy to even begin to do all of the reflecting that you are doing, but as I read your posts, I realize: "wow, that's exactly what I'm feeling." Thank you for sharing in such an honest way. Jump right back on that wagon- there is no doubt in my mind that you can do this!
Thanks so much,
Amber