Sunday!!! Family day..... and a resolution. My cousin is leaving to head back to New York after being in town since November. It is bittersweet. I am happy for him to head back but sad to see him go. Then his younger sister (who just had the gallbladder surgery) will be joining him in NYC on the 5th of June. It will seem awfully empty around here. I am happy for them to go off and find their place in the world but that doesn't mean I am not going to miss them any less. We had a bbq/going away party today. It was a lot of eating, swimming, sunning, talking and more eating. I tell you I think get together's are the worst. You eat just because you can and because everyone else is. It is not about hunger AT ALL!
So I decided I was going to fast for most of the day.....what was I thinking, such a stupid idea. I guess I figured that I would balance out the lack of calories with the calories from the afternoon meal. Ya so for the most part I did ok. We had a medifast friendly meal. But I got so caught up in what was going on, I can't honestly tell you what or how much I ate. That scares me. I know for the most part I ate well, but at the same time I could feel myself just eating because I knew people weren't really watching me there was too much going on. Everything was so tasty and part of me was afraid that if I didn't eat it, it would disappear and I wouldn't be able to have any more. Not that I needed more, but it is an issue that I still need to work through. I can't really explain it very well. I get this obsessive thought in my head that when there is something I like or tastes really good, I just want to eat it. Not only do I want to eat it, I don't want to share it. So I either want to eat it all at one time or keep returning to it until it is all gone. Just another little thing I have to work through. I tried to stay up on my water drinking but I know that I didn't get enough but overall I give myself a pat on the back (lightly though because it is sunburned!).
My movie friend and I talked on the phone and worked through all of our feelings and all of the miscommunication and misinterpretations that have happened over the last couple of days. We are all good now and I feel so much better about it. Resolution equals victory. I don't like it when my relationships are out of sorts...I am glad that the resolution came quickly and now we can move on.
I have learned that I still have so many food issues. I am learning about them as I go and slowly but surely I am wittling away at them. I have learned that even when I don't think I am being watched, I am being watched; I am watching me and that should count! I have learned that you should really put sunscreen on even when you think naahhh I won't get burned (FYI you most definitely WILL get burned). I have also learned that I need to get focused again this next week. School is starting, great time to get a food game plan together.
Angela Angela she is the woman
if she can't do it no one can! (just keep chanting, just keep chanting)
Love Angela
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