This has been the longest Friday ever. It is the Friday of a 3 day weekend and I am stuck in class until 5 pm. Granted if I had a job I would stuck at work until 5 but for some reason when I am in class it feels like so much more work then being at work. So there I sat, trying to stay focused. Sooooo not focusing. Instead I made lists of all the things I should get done but probably won't get done. I know there are those of you out there just like me that make likes of things we want to do but probably will never get to. We have the best of intentions but there the list sits, taunting. Do you know what is even worse? Because I get behind in my blogging sometimes I even make lists of what to blog about. Clever, I know!
So I have to admit something to you. I have been closet eating again. I have been trying to pretend that I am not doing it, but really who does that help. The person that needs the help is me. I need a lot of help and right now I can really use someone holding my hand. I went to the grocery store and I got an 8 oz block of cheese and small jar of peanut butter. cheese was gone in 24 hours. Peanut butter took 3 days. I am embarrassed. It is far better then it could have been or what I would have done in the past but I am still ashamed. I am really weak right now, and I am tired. I feel lonely at times and food makes me feel better. I don't want to reach out because I know others are busy so instead I reach in. I reach into the fridge and pull out my old friend food. Food never has more important things to do. Food never avoids me or doesn't respond to me; in fact it waits around for me. Food knows just what to do to make me feel better, and I let it. Even as I type I let the tears roll down my cheeks. (Caution rough road ahead. Watch out for falling tears, and lonely fog. Do remember angela that tears dry and fog lifts).
Love Angela
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