LilySlim Diet days tickers

LilySlim Diet days tickers

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Dear Blog; Day 244

Today was quite an adventure.  I feel better than I did last night and well I went to bed with a smile on my face as I finished off the jar of peanut butter.  Even though I went to bed with a smile I woke up with mouth glued together by the peanut butter...ok not really but it sounded good.  I am a little more depressed today since the peanut butter is gone and I have vowed to not get another jar which makes me even more depressed.  I couldn't dwell on the peanut butter anymore so I got out of bed... and promptly took myself to the grocery store!  Noooooo I did not buy peanut butter, it was our weekly shopping trip for the weekly meals.  I promise!

This afternoon my grocery shopping friend came by we were just suppose to go to old navy so that she could get a top to were to the Shout House tonight instead we went by Lane Bryant and I monopolized all the time on getting clothes for me.  I will have you know I DO NOT SHOP for clothes ever!  But I just started pulling things off the racks thinking why not; I was here might as well try something on.  TO my total shock, things fit... and they fit nice.  Not only that but I had to go down sizes...what?!?!?  Going down a size?  Who would have thought.  Needless to say I nearly started crying in the dressing room... I was almost a pool on the floor I probably would have sat down and started rocking back and forth but my friend kept giving me things to try on.  She was just as excited for me as I was.  I was more in shock to be honest.  I left the store with a few new things.  I was tired of hearing my life coach tell me that my shirts look like maternity tops and my pants look like clown pants.  Although it sort of hurt my feelings, I know what she was trying to tell me.

My friend never got her new shirt...and I got things I had not intended to get but oddly mixed with the feeling of wanting to throw up from spending what I call  A LOT of money (clothes are expensive) I felt excited.  It gave me a new sense of self.  I don't need to hide behind my clothes.  I need to embrace the changes even if I think I can see them.  They are happening and I need to take a little bit of time and recognize that.

The rest of the evening was spent listening to music and enjoying myself with my friends.   It was a great day and I am thankful for it.  Days like today help me see why I am doing this.   I am doing this because I want to see ME as who I am not who I think I should be.  I is kind, I is smart and I is important! (thank you Abileen from The Help.)

Love Angela

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