Dear Blog; Day 33

D Day.  My dad left today.  Sad faces all around.  I have been missing him all day.  My gram and aunt have also been emotional today.  I just wish my family lived closer so we could see each other more often.  I appreciate the time that I have had with him, just like I love it when my mom comes to visit me on her own as well.  One on one time it so important.  I really wanted to just eat what ever today but at the same time I forgot to eat today.  It was a bit weird.  I didn't want to over it so instead I accidently under-ate which isn't good either.  It is all about balance.  Balance with emotion. Balance with food.  Balance between work and play.  Balance with helping yourself and helping others.  So many things to balance.

I spent a few hours with my best friend today.  We really needed to catch up, we haven't spent a lot of time together recently she has been busy and so have I.  We talked a lot and just caught up.  While I was there I went into the kitchen to get a glass of water.  I barely had one foot in the kitchen when all the little food dancers appeared:  Ballerina Bread, Reggae Ravioli, Salsa dancing Spaghetti O's, Pop and lock pastries, and so on.  Someday I hope to be able to walk into a kitchen anywhere at anytime and not be continually "entertained" by dancing food.  I keep being told that it gets easier, I pray that it gets easier. 

I miss my family today, and I have spent a lot of today thinking about them and how lucky I am to have the family that I do.  I realized today that I need to love myself as much as I love my family.  The love I have for them is unconditional and very hard to put into words.  I need to love myself like that and more.  I am the only me there will ever be. 

Like a peacock sometimes we loose our beautiful feathers and we may think less of ourselves but before we know it a new one replaces the lost and again we are complete.  Beauty is what we make it.  A feather is just a feather, but when put with others a symphony of color and beauty is created.  (Sorry if this doesn't make sense, it did in my head)


Love Angela