Wednesday...Middle of the week. Its like standing at a crossroad. Do you go left or do you go right? Do you go back where you came from or do you move forward? Have you ever thought of moments in your life as a crossroad? I think I do. Since I can't really eat anymore to fill what ever void I am feeling or to hide from things or to escape I now think a lot more then I used to. Not always a bad thing, but it keeps me a wake a lot more then I would like it to, and sometimes puts me in a funk. I do apologize for the somber posts I am feeling pretty down this week. You know what I'm not sorry. This is me. I am feeling this way and I don't need to apologize for it. I always feel like I have to be careful of feeling anger, or sadness, or frustration. My world would come crashing down if for some reason I had offended someone one or had ruffled someones feathers so instead I apologize for my emotions. What is that? Am I not allowed to feel? Am I not allowed to express what is going on with me? Everyone else does so why do I feel like I can't? So today I make no excuse for my attitude.
When I started medifast I was at a crossroads. Do I continue down the path I was going, or do I forge a new path for myself? I decided the later and so here I am. Today I am wishing that I had continued down my same path, forget the medifast stuff. I want to eat what I want when I want. I want to self medicate with food. I was content. Or so I thought. I know in reality I wasn't but today I just don't really care. I want to go back. This is too much work. I don't want to do it. And I am just tired.
Love Angela
Don't give up, keep up the good work, many of us are rooting for you and know that the ultimate end will be ultimate happiness. You have a great talent in writing and expressing yourself, keep up the good work.
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