Dear Blog; Day 61

I seem to have a superpower for descerning smells. I taught school today and when the kids came in from lunch I could pretty much smell what each one of them had...it was almost like a color ora, except this turned them into pizza, or chicken, or those really yummy sugar cookies from walmart that have that thick layer of frosting with the sprinkles and that pretty much melts in your mouth. Ya ya those cookies....oh man sooo yummy. It was like a parading buffet. I kind of felt like a lion watching the antalope graze in front of me just waiting for the right one to walk by so I could grab it. (Ok just so you know I would never be so inappropriate as to grab a child I didnt know, or even if I did know them I wouldn't do it even if they did look like a pepporoni pizza with extra cheese aka what they had for lunch.) I do have boundries...for the most part! Anyway it was hard for me to stay focused. It was a good thing all I had to do was work the dvd player otherwise I was defenceless against the parading food buffet.

I was thinking of all the places I could go on my way home from school. But alas my car (Allie) only wanted to go home and wouldn't even let me try and turn any other direction. (I think my life coach did something to her so that she knows not to pull into any fast food place where I would make poor choices. Hmmm that does sound like something she would do....grrrr) There I sat hunched over my bowl (meaning 1 cup full) of beef stew. It did it's job it gave me all that I needed for a meal. It didn't necessarily satisfy the desire for a cheeseburger or cookie but it gave me all the good stuff that I needed and fed my stomach monster. (sometimes my stomach monster can be so unruly, and very rude).

I spent the rest of this evening away from the kitchen engrossed in streaming movies and scrapbooking. It keeps me busy and helps me so that I don't just eat because I have nothing else to do. I sit here now blogging (and I really have to pee)because otherwise I would probably make my way down there and get something. I AM NOT HUNGRY, but my brain says that I need something. How do I convince my brain that I don't want anything? It just keeps chanting "Eat, Eat, Eat, Eat!" So I will just be stubborn. (I'm good at that). I am going to go pee (before I explode) and then I am going to sleep. Mark my words... I will not be going down stairs. (I hope...wish me luck.)

Love Angela