Happy Happy Happy Saturday! I spent the morning helping my best friend and her mom with a moving sale. They have been diligently working on purging 30 years worth of collected stuff. How do you do it? How do you get rid of things that you have had for 30 years? I guess it starts with one thing and then another and another. And then you realize if you keep it, then you will have to find a place for it at a new house so your selection process of "keeps" gets significantly smaller. It becomes a "do I really need that" type of question.
Boy does this sound familiar with weight-loss. I have been collecting weight for 32 years. I find new and creative ways of storing it. I find ways to hide it from others (like a pack-rat) so they only see what I want them to see (or what I think they should see). Now I have decided that I want a new body (aka house) so I need to have a moving sale (aka weight-loss). But how do I get rid of 32 years of weight gain? One habit change at a time, one pound at a time. At a moving sale people buy things you get rid of; as for weight-loss you PAY for getting rid of it. You pay with sweat, tears, frustration, anger, fear, time, patience, perserverance, and lots of hard work. You have to ask yourself the tough questions. Do I really need that? Where am I going to put it? Is it something I want to store in my new house (aka body)? This can't be good I am now comparing myself to a house....(I think there is a fat joke in there somewhere!)
I had the opportunity tonight to see some friends I haven't seen in a while. I had to drive clear across the state of arizona to get there. But after 2 rest stops, 3 meals and a 2 hour nap I made it. (Slight exaggeration but it was far about 1 1/2 hours from my house). I was really really nervous about going because I knew the menu was bbq . Oh man.. anything grilled can melt this girls heart. I would probably eat shoe leather if it had grill marks on it and smelled like mesquite. So before I left my house I had a pow-wow with my life coach. We addressed the issues I would face and what my decisions were going to be and what the worst case scenario would be if I slipped up. I packed my purse with some bars and pretzels and water and off I went. I had my friend with me and asked him to watch just to make sure I was behaving myself. (A little extra insurance for myself). Just as I suspected Hamburgers with nice fluffy seasame seeded buns (the really good kind) hotdogs (kosher) with the same type of buns as the hamburgers, potato salad, baked beans, potato chips, chips and salsa and 2 different kinds of cake! It was like the Miss. USA pageant for food. Each parading by in their best evening wear. My plate; 1 hamburger patty, 1 hot dog, celery sticks and a piece of chicken breast. (heavy on the protien I know, but what is a girl to do!) My friend asked me why no bun so I explained to her what was up. She was very proud of me as were some other friends that were there. It was weird talking face to face with people about what I am doing but at the same time it was very liberating.
I am on this journey it consumes me every minute of everyday. I can't pretend it isn't there and I can't hide it especially from those that are close to me. As much as this is my journey I know there are so many out there who are there and want to be there to help me succeed. I really showed that bbq (aka miss usa pageant girls) who was the real winner and that was me. I want this and I am going to have it.
Score today Angela 12 food 2
Definitely a layer of self hate removed. I can feel the layers sluffing off as each day passes, and you know what I feel lighter.
Love Angela
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