Dear Blog; Day 101

Wow I am now in the triple digits.  It sounds so much better to be in the triple digits when you are talking about days you have been living heathier then when you are talking weight.  Or even talking digits as in fingers or toes.  Who wants triple of those that would look really weird I think.

My sparkling personality came through today.  I am not as grumpy or sullen as for the last couple of days.  I met up with my movie friend today.  I decided to root around in my closet and see if anything that I used to wear in a past life would even remotely fit me.  I was feeling a bit brave and overly daring.  I selected a top, blew the dust off of it (it hadn't been worn in a while a very long while) and tried it on.  Hmmm it is amazing how you feel different in things that are a bit smaller and fit more how they should instead of hanging on you.  So since I felt better I smiled a little, then I double checked to make sure no one was watching me.  I can't let others see me get excited (then this getting healthier and slimmer won't be real).  Since the top felt good I put on my jeans (getting too big) with a belt so my smaller butt wouldn't show.  I am not one of those teenage baggy pants wearers who think its cool to have more then half of their boxers bunched up around their waist and their pants belted on around mid thigh.  I don't like having to worry about my pants ending up down around my ankles if I needed to get anywhere fast!  Why wear pants anyway if you are going to wear them around your ankles; they are really only there to cover up what underwear, if any, you are wearing and since a lot of peoples stick out anyway there is really no secret or discreetness about that so lose the pants all togethe,r it will save you money!  Also I don't recall on those no shirt no shoes no service signs saying anything about no pants so hey!!!  Ok just kidding, I don't really want to see a bunch of youth, men, women etc running around without pants on.  I just don't think that would be entirely pretty or a mental image I wish to carry with me all day.  So instead.  Get pants that fit and wear them where they are suppose to go!  That is all I am saying.  (steps down off her soapbox) After putting on my shirt, and a good bra, some loose jeans with a belt I stepped into some cute wedge shoes with a peep toe (to show off my pedicure).  It is amazing how when you feel better about yourself you stop hiding behind ill fitting clothes to make yourself seem more invisible. 

The movie we saw was called hanna.  It is basically about a girl raised by a rogue cia agent (who raised her and told her he was her father) who trained her to kill the handler that created her and the high bred (program created to alter dna to make above standard future agent strategic killers) child program she was a part of as revenge. The only redeeming factors of this 2 hour waste of my time is the fact that kate blanchet was in it (who is hard to believe as a psychotic murdering cia handler, determined to kill everyone involved or knew anything about the child high bred program or had ever seen her face basically) and the rogue cia agent who was ruggedly hanesome.  (hey the previews made it look interesting OK, don't judge me and stop laughing! :)  )  So 3 out of 10 is all it gets.

By the time I had gotten home I was really really hungry.  I was hoping dinner would be ready, but to no such luck.  In my past life I would have just whipped up something from a box or a can (or stopped and got the tacos I have wanted for 4 months now) and been happy.  But instead I had to make something that was lean and green and not from a box.  My option was a chicken salad.. Sounds good but I had to prep the salad; not good. I didn't want to wait that long to eat; my stomach monster was starting to really claw at my throat.  I got rid of some of my aggression by scream yelling into the fridge with the doors open, like king kong (but without the pounding on my chest).  I felt better. I made my salad as quickly as possible and then I did partake.  It is almost as if you can see yourself transform back into a human from this out of control beast.  My stomach monster backed off and ate what I gave him and he was happy and content and I could then focus on other things and act like a human again.  It is amazing what hunger can do to you sometimes. 

Love Angela